Today felt hard.
I was tired. I practiced the cello earlier and there were a lot of extensions in my etudes. When I got to the violin my left arm felt heavy and my fingers didn’t seem to remember their spacings. I was over-shifting and my third position was way out of tune.
I also spent maybe 30 minutes on the first 4 measures of an etude (Wohlfahrt Foundation Studies Book 2 #18) . There were just… problems. At first I played them ok-ish a few times and moved on. The rest of the etude felt easier, but I was distracted. I couldn’t let those 4 measure go. So about half way through I just stopped and went back to work on them, and instead of getting better they just fell apart more and more the longer I played them. At one point I thought about moving on to something else, but I wasn’t motivated to play any of my other stuff. I kept going for a bit longer before accepting the fact that it just wasn’t working. My fingers are just not independent enough and there was just nothing I could do to force them to stay in place.
I decided that this is something that will just take more time. I just need to practice it a little every day until my fingers just “get it” but until then… there’s no point getting frustrated. I was too tired to be angry. I put my violin away and declared today not a success.